There was a young man called McLean
Who invented a f**king machine.
Concave or convex,
It would fit either sex,
And was perfectly simple to clean.
Norman Douglas:
"(American.) I have puzzled till I can puzzle no more what the shape of this contrivance may have been, how it worked, and of what materials it was constructed. Out of American postal directories I obtained the addresses of 732 persons bearing the name of McLean, and circularized them, asking whether they are the lucky inventor, begging for further details, and offering to buy three or four dozen specimens for distribution among my friends.
Not a single reply up to date!
"We may be sure that it was an efficient instrument, since the originator seems to have been of Scotch ancestry. It was 'perfectly simple to clean': there you have the practical Scotsman."