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$10 limerick #19

There was a young student of John's
Who wanted to buggar the swans.
     But the loyal hall-porter
     Said: "Pray take my daughter!
The birds are reserved for the dons."

Norman Douglas:
"The loyalty of College-porters is traditional, and only surpassed by their politeness. Note the politeness of this one. It is typical of all of them.

"The family of the Anatidae seems to be favoured of mankind, and this much may be said in extenuation of the young man's proclivities that the swan is a comely bird. Not for nothing was it chosen by the Father of the Gods on a certain memorable occasion. If Zeus had transformed himself into a duck, Leda would hardly have succumbed to his charms.

"Yet ducks are also attractive fowls, as any Chinaman will tell you. They have a veritable cult of them in that country, and that is why European residents refuse to eat them.

"The last line may explain why the Thames swans are no longer served at banquets, as they were in the days of Queen Elizabeth. They are reserved for other, and perhaps worthier, purposes. Spanish geese are apt to be crotchety:

There was an old man of Santander,
Who attempted to buggar a gander.
     But the silly old bird
     Stuffed its arse with a turd –
"We may be sure that English swans are more amenable to reason."

$10 Limerick No.20

Or Take Your Pick:

girl from Kilkenny Sappho of Greece girl of Pitlochry girl of Baroda
man of Peru man of Belgravia Royal Marine lady at sea
man of Devizes man of Australia man called McLean lady of Kew
man of the Cape lady named Skinner man of Kildare man of Cape Horn
Dean of Saint Paul's lady called Wylde student of John's man of Loch Leven