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Belloc

 

Hilaire Belloc
1870-1953

From:
"The Bad Child's Book
of Beasts"

THE YAK

As a friend to the children
commend me the Yak.
You will find it exactly the thing:
It will carry and fetch, you can ride on its back,
Or lead it about with a string.

The Tartar who dwells on the plains of Thibet
(A desolate region of snow)
Has for centuries made it a nursery pet,
And surely the Tartar should know!
Then tell your papa where the Yak can be got,
And if he is awfully rich
He will buy you the creature –
      or else
           he will not.
(I cannot be positive which.)

 

THE DROMEDARY

The Dromedary is a cheerful bird:
I cannot say the same about the Kurd.

 

THE WHALE

The Whale that wanders round the Pole
Is not a table fish.
You cannot bake or boil him whole
Nor serve him in a dish;

But you may cut his blubber up
And melt it down for oil.
And so replace the colza bean
(A product of the soil).

These facts should all be noted down
And ruminated on,
By every boy in Oxford town
Who wants to be a Don.

 

THE HIPPOPOTAMUS

I shoot the Hippopotamus
      with bullets made of platinum,
Because if I use leaden ones
      his hide is sure to flatten 'em.

 

THE MARMOZET

The species Man and Marmozet
Are intimately linked;
The Marmozet survives as yet,
But Men are all extinct.

 

THE BIG BABOON

The Big Baboon is found upon
The plains of Cariboo:
He goes about with nothing on
(A shocking thing to do).

But if he dressed up respectably
And let his whiskers grow,
How like this Big Baboon would be
To Mister So-and-so!

 

THE FROG

Be kind and tender to the Frog,
And do not call him names,
As "Slimy skin," or "Polly-wog,"
Or likewise "Ugly James,"
Or "Gap-a-grin," or "Toad-gone-wrong,"
Or "Bill Bandy-knees":
The Frog is justly sensitive
To epithets like these.

No animal will more repay
A treatment kind and fair;
At least so lonely people say
Who keep a frog (and, by the way,
They are extremely rare).

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